


Victorious

by Kittyboo98



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Boners, Body Shots, Drinking Games, Explicit Sexual Content, Intercrural Sex, M/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Poor Nile, Titan Erwin Smith, crackfic, flatasswin, kinky old men, leather uniforms, r.i.p. new uniforms, tumblr prompt gone wild XD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 06:41:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13969512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kittyboo98/pseuds/Kittyboo98
Summary: Nile gets stuck with the task of escorting Levi and Erwin home after a victory celebration. Hilarity and smut  ensues ;) *crackfic*pwp





	Victorious

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is the resulting crackfic based on a silly runaway post from Tumblr after hearing some new facts from Hajime Isayama’s recent signing event. I combined as many prompts as I could without getting too ridiculous (but it’s still pretty ridiculous XD)
> 
> For Lostcauses, Zedsdead1001, memoirs, thebritishteapot Ladymacbethsspot and Momtaku because I am not over flatasswin :D

  
Nile groaned to himself in frustration. Once again, fate had dealt him a shitty hand in the game of life. He cursed himself for not having left earlier but Erwin was one of his closest friends and he had promised Marie that he would keep an eye on him. Now he had drawn the shortest straw from among his colleagues and was given the task of getting Erwin and Levi home safely from the bar.

Unfortunately it also involved putting an end to the current well deserved victory celebration amongst the remaining military members after a long battle overseas. If anyone was worthy of a celebration, it was definitely Erwin. After years of being labeled as a demon, the man had now been declared a hero.

Nile reminded himself that if Erwin wanted to live long enough to receive his Medal of Honor at tomorrow’s award ceremony without succumbing to alcohol poisoning, his intervention was necessary.

When he arrived at the bar, Nile stared in disbelief. The man that was the namesake to his youngest son and whom was fondly called “Uncle Erwin” by his children when he visited, now eagerly lapped Tequila from the navel of Humanity’s Strongest Soldier.

Cheers erupted as Erwin emerged victorious from his task when he grasped the slice of lime from Levi’s mouth between his teeth. After Erwin hastily abandoned the fruit in favor of collecting the juice by sloppily licking the smaller man’s face, Nile decided to intervene in fear that one or both of the idiots would fall off and suffer a broken limb or worse.

He quickly scanned the area for any sharp items that might inflict a wound. Now that Erwin had his newly acquired shifting ability, poor control of his powers due to intoxication was also a potential threat. The coast seemed to be clear so he took in a deep breath to steel himself before he cleared his throat.

Nile felt the glare cast upon him from the eyes of everyone seated at the bar for interrupting the festivities. Being too tired to care at this point, Nile ignored them and approached Erwin whom now smiled goofily at him. He extended his arm so that the taller man could get himself to his feet.

“Nile!” Erwin exclaimed. “Let me buy you a drink!”

Nile shook his head. “Thanks for the offer, Erwin, but I’m just here to escort you and the Captain back to HQ so you can get some sleep before the ceremony tomorrow.” He replied.

Erwin then pulled Nile into a hug. “Thank you Nile, you’re soooo nice.” He slurred. “Guess what? I won the shot contest! Do you know what that means?” Erwin drawled as he leaned heavily against Nile’s side.

“No, I don’t. What does it mean?” Nile asked, immediately regretting it.

“It means that Levi is gonna pound my ass into the mattress tonight.” Erwin replied in a poorly executed whisper.

“Congratulations.” Nile mumbled as he tried to think about anything other than Erwin’s obvious erection that prodded his side. He exhaled in relief when Erwin separated himself as Levi appeared, cloak wrapped haphazardly around him in a poor attempt to cover his bare middle.

“Good evening, Levi.” Nile greeted.

“Evening Nile.” The small man muttered with a crooked smile that surprised Nile and creeped him out at the same time.

Nile just shivered and gave a polite nod before he led them towards the exit.

________

  
Their journey had been slow but successful until Levi paused about halfway through their trek back to their accommodations.

“Oi! Nile!,” Levi shouted much louder than necessary.

“Is everything alright, Levi?,” Nile inquired.

“Yeah, isn’t the newspaper office near here?” Levi asked as he squinted at the buildings with glassy eyes.

“Maybe? It’s closed right now anyway.” Nile answered, confused at the sudden question. “Why do you need to go there?”

Levi scowled and clenched his fist. “I wanted to have a word with the bastard that illustrated the article for Erwin’s interview.” He growled.  
“That drawing was fucking inaccurate.”

Erwin groaned. “You said you dropped that already. It didn’t even look that bad, Levi.”

“That man owes your ass an apology Erwin! I can personally attest that your ass is not flat!” Levi fumed. “What was that fucker’s name again?”

Erwin rolled his eyes. “I can’t remember. Yams? Turnip? It doesn’t matter anyway, Levi. We have more important things to do.”

Levi shrugged in defeat. “You’re right, let’s get home before I lose my boner.” Levi turned around and started teetering back in the correct direction, pausing momentarily to grab a handful of Erwin’s leather clad ass.

________

After an uneventful remaining walk home, the trio finally arrived in front of Erwin’s office. Nile took the keys from Erwin’s hand and unlocked the door.

“Thanks Nile!” Erwin called out with a smile.

“It’s no problem Er-.” Nile started but was cut off when Levi abruptly slammed the door shut. At this point he wasn’t even offended. He knew Levi didn’t mean it. He was just happy that he was finally free to go home.

_________

Levi grunted in annoyance as he tugged unsuccessfully at the leather that seemed almost fused to Erwin’s skin. After an hour of being cock blocked by Nile, he had finally gotten a chance to claim his prize only to be met with another obstacle. Levi had disrobed without a problem, however, when he tried to remove Erwin’s uniform, it got stuck around his knees.

Levi had offered to use his blades to cut away the material but Erwin had talked him out of it. He couldn’t blame him, he wouldn’t want his drunk ass waving around a sharp object near his cock either. That and even one nick could result in Erwin transforming and Levi getting accidentally crushed by his Titan boyfriend.

Levi stared sadly at his predicament before a solution had finally appeared in his liquor addled brain.  
He walked over to the nightstand to grab the oil and turned back to Erwin. He pointed at the bed. “I’ve got an idea.” He then helped him get onto the mattress and positioned him on all fours.

Levi climbed up and knelt behind Erwin. He reached down to grab the oil. After sufficiently lubing up, he guided his throbbing erection smoothly between Erwin’s thick, muscular thighs. Levi groaned in pleasure at the feeling of his cock being hugged tightly with every thrust.

He leaned forward and wrapped one oil coated hand around Erwin’s now weeping cock as well, resulting in a grateful moan from the beautiful blonde in front of him. Combined with the pleasantly filthy noises that filled the room, Levi knew that both of them would not last much longer.

“Fuck!, you feel so fucking good!” Levi cried out and Erwin responded with his own satisfied moan, too fucked out to form words. Moments later, both cried out in bliss as they climaxed, their bodies were painted with the combined release followed by them collapsing in a satisfied heap.  
_________

After a long shared shower and numerous cups of coffee and tea the following morning, Levi and Erwin made a quick stop at Hange’s office.

The brunette stared at them in confusion when they noticed that the two of them were dressed in their old uniforms. “Why aren’t you wearing your uniforms?”

Hange gasped in horror when Levi handed them the mutilated pile of leather. “I told you these things were ridiculous. For all the money you spent, you could have thrown in a fucking zipper.” Levi complained.

Hange looked over the ruined garments and noticed that a few pieces were missing. “What happened to the-.”

“Oh, we’re keeping the belts.” Levi replied with a smirk and walked off trailed by a blushing Erwin followed by what almost sounded like a muffled sobbing as Hange mourned the loss of their precious creations.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am not even sorry XD


End file.
